Soul searching.

Recently I felt like I was loosing the person I was because I was giving into my minds way of making me feel insecure, not important, and lost. I was becoming everything I hate, I wanted the world to see me as this cold hearted bitch who didn’t care, because I feel things so deeply, acting like I didn’t care helped shield that part of myself. When in reality that is everything I’m not, I am a kind hearted soul who has compassion and understanding towards all people. It caused me to really do some soul searching and spiritual practice. For the longest time I didn’t feel like I was worthy of love because who could love someone who is difficult, overly sensitive, and every other negative quality I could think of. When I was ignoring all the great qualities that make me who I am. I was starting to give into my minds way of tricking myself to believe all these things. I also began to give into my old ways which consisted of lashing out and hurting others because I was deeply struggling within myself. I held onto things that hurt because being hurt was more comfortable to me then trying to work on myself in order to feel the happiness we are dream of. I blamed the people that hurt me in my past for me being so “unfixable” or so that’s how I saw it. I tried to fix people who were broken because helping them gave me a sense of pleasure because I was never able to fix things within myself. Even though humans aren’t broken, it’s about accepting all the parts of yourself, even the darkest things that take over our minds. When you look into yourself you realize a lot and it’s okay to forgive yourself and let go of the negative things that hold you back. We are all a work in progress and it’ll all be okay πŸ™‚

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